They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
