Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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