last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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