Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
