You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The air taste purple.
Randomize