He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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