I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
