So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
