Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Text me some of your sweat
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
