So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
