Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
