He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
