Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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