hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
