thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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