thus making me awesome and them whores
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize