i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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