the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
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