sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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