I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
