Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
