What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
