i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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