The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
