Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
