Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
