Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I had to cum in my sink.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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