Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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