It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
