i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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