I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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