I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
