Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
