break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
