Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
