I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Say something about gay babies.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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