So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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