I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
