mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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