either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
