but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
