After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
