my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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