Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
