Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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