found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
