I can tuck mytits in my pants
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How external is "for external use only"?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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