Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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