all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
