I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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