Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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