If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10