I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?