You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
