I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
