i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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