i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
