Where is the hickey?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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