Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
