I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
