YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
