sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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