Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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