whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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