we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
