I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
