Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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