billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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