I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
