No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize