She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
