you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
