Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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